12 Marriage shocker For A True Christian Brother.
This article is for True Born Again Christian brothers, those that believe that the bed should not be defiled, coz if you are Not this will make no sense to you.
Here are 12 unexpected things you may likely encounter after saying “Yes I Do” at the Alter. These will begin to manifest itself as soon as you try to unlock the keys to the beautiful city of Jerusalem (I mean as you are undressing your wife to taste the honey). This handy article is aimed at equipping you ahead of time so that it doesn’t appear to you as a big shocker, coz you may not Pray or Wish it away. So get ready for the following.
Shocker1. Offensive Odour: there is every possibility that your beautiful looking wife will produce an offensive odour from the lower private part of her body(if not all over her body) , such that can provoke such a war in your stomach, that may likely cause you to throw-up. Get ready for it bro its part of your Package, and its your responsibility to FiX it.Warning! Never you mock her for this or make her feel you are irritated by her, she may never forgive you for it EVER. To avert the danger, do not rush to entering into the city of Jerusalem, ask her to take a cool shower before the match commences.
Shocker2. Irritating scar, open wound on her body or some funny looking Rash around the Pubic Area: am sure you didn’t bargain for such but get ready for it coz it could be there waiting for you to unveil. Am sure you will probably say “God WHY will you allow such on someone like me who have served you faithfully”. The truth remains that it has nothing to do with WHO she is, God is possibly seeing a bigger picture that you are yet to perceive, live with it and wait for God to unveil the hidden treasures in her.
Shocker3. One Breast or One Nipple Missing: she might have succeeded in hiding it from you, besides you are not supposed to see her nakedness until the wedding is over. So you shouldn’t blame her that much, “but she ought to have told me all this while”, yes, that might be correct but you will not deny the fact that we all have our little secret in life, that could be hers. Take it in good faith and accept it’s what God expects you to have chikina.
Shocker4. Virginity Shocker! She’s NOT a Virgin: am sure you expected her to be a Virgin but it may turn to be an illusion. This doesn’t make her a sinner, it only implies that she had a past just like we all do, remember 2corinthians 5:17 and Romans 8:1-3. So accept your package in good faith and move ahead. “But she pretended to being a virgin” Yes! She is a virgin in New Birth(hello).
Shocker5. She is a night Worker or Market Seller: I’m sorry to announce this to you bro, the angelic voice sister, with the gift of speaking in tongue and the grace to get people to cry while she’s singing is a Night Worker. She could even be a Prayer Warrior and leader of the Prayer group in your church, yet she has got a dirty outside-the-church lifestyle. Note: this does not necessarily imply that God hates you, it could be that God expects you to demonstrate the Love and Forgiveness he has taught you on her and that could be the desired turning point in her life. If you come across such you need to go back to God and seek directions from him.
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Shocker6. She has a Child/children already or Already Married to another Man before you. There is also a likelihood that she’s still the wife of another man, coz she was yet to divorce her former husband before getting married to you, just be prepared to face whatsoever comes your way, including the fact that you may loose her to the original husband.
Shocker7. She Nags, goosshsh! A nagging wife could be so annoying and irritating but what will you do? Beat her up? Shout her down? OrDivorce her? Sorry bro, coz None of the Above has the solution, but Love does, coz it covers multitude of weaknesses and short comings.
Shocker8. She’s Dirty and maybe Lazy also: don’t be surprised to come back from work and meet the whole house in mess. The usual excuse is that she’s tired, and there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t be surprised if she even ask you to go fix something for you both to eat, she wasn’t taught to do so at home and you may not be able to change her in a hurry. This is common with “Packaged Marriage”. Shouting on her or even raising a finger will only exacerbate the whole thing, you just have to take things easy with her and reason along with her.
Shocker9. Bad Kitchen Management Skills, in other words she doesn’t know how to cook good food. Don’t be surprised that all the food she has been “preparing” for you wasn’t prepare by her, it could be her mother, sister or even friends helping her all this while. Too bad? If she’s teachable you can put her through, if you can
Shocker10. She’s a Snoring Pig: if you are one of those who hate sleeping around or staying in the same room with a snoring fellow, you had better started learning it now, coz your wife maybe one.
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Shocker11. Anti- Friends, Family and relatives; including your mother. Let it not come to you as a surprise package if your “loving and supposedly caring wife” turns out to be a fighter and anti-people fellow. She will suggest that everything rises and falls on her, Goodbye to friends and family, and you must obey if you wish to live long.
Shocker12. Log-Of-Wood on Bed. This is more annoying and demoralising if you were once a mad sex lover(that’s before you got born again). Such ladies will just lay on bed like corpse while you do the working without contributing anything to make sex fun. It’s such a heart breaking experience to have, but what will you do than to accept her the way she is, and probably blend her to your taste as time goes by?.
Whatever the content of your own package is, refine it and make good use of it. Remember, God’s ways are not our ways just wait on him on that marriage and the expected end will be wonderful(Jeremiah 29:11)
Hope you’ve been able to learn few things from this article, please let me know what you feel via the Comment Box below.
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