There’s a very serious issue that’s affecting our women negatively, both in relationship and marriage and I have decided to talk about it today.
Let’s get this straight once and for all, enough of all this conflicting relationship/marriage Counselling, Tips and Advise here and there.
Let’s draw a coastal line between Boyfriend and Husband. They aren’t the same despite the fact that they may look alike.
A boyfriend is under no obligation to become your husband, he can decide to remain your boyfriend as long as he wishes to be (maybe forever). He can as well decide to stop being your boyfriend at any point in time; without minding how you feel or what the consequences may be.
There is no law court where you can sue a man for withdrawing his boyfriendship from you and probably transfer same to another lady (unless you both had a child together; even at that you can’t be able to get him back, all you can sue for is your child’s upkeep allowance ).
But a husband (I mean “husband”) can’t do such without incurring the wrath of the law, family, friends, Community or his religious body. A husband can not just walk away without looking back and counting losses.
Now the real issue;
A. IT IS VERY DANGEROUS TO SHOW YOUR BOYFRIEND SO MUCH CARE AND ATTENTION.
Do you know that your boyfriend is not expecting you to show him “over attention”?
Sounds unfamiliar right?
yes that’s the simple but hidden truth. Most guys want to be the one doing the toasting, pampering and showing all the love; however he expects you to always give him a near perfect feedback.
You know that naturally men are configured to be in charge and that is the attitude of an average man and he doesn’t wish to relinquish that authority to any woman naturally. So it becomes a very big problem when you ignorantly try to swap places with him for the sake of love or hidden agenda.
When you begin to make your boyfriend feel that what ever he does is perfect and that he does not even need to pamper you much, you are simply selling yourself so cheap to him. He now sees you as already accomplished project, and he surely must dare for more, so i’m sure you already know what i means?
But if you can create the impression that there’s more to you than what he has seen no matter how long you’ve been together, and that you still have the option to walk away at any point, he will surely want to do more to keep you while trying also to know you more.
The keyword here is “Moderation”, just be your real self, that extra you are trying to add is completely unnecessary. I know you want to impress him to marry you, i know you want him to see you as OVER loving and caring. I’m sorry but that’s not exactly what he’s looking for, unfortunately you are only trying to make him see you as a desperate woman or a “No Option Lady”.
Simply say: it is an abomination to offer to your boyfriend all the benefits (love, care, affection, attention, respects….) that is supposed to be reserved for your husband. If he gets it all, sees it all and tested it all. What is there again for him to see and why should he still want to go ahead and marry you?
B. YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS ALL THE ATTENTION, CARE AND AFFECTION.
Most of our ladies actually got the first one right, but the problem is that they’ve replicated same in marriage and that is a very big problem.
The reason why you have been advised to reserve that EXTRA is because you will surely need it for your husband. Your husband deserves it all; love, care, affection, attention, sex, name it. You need to give it to him and equally add the extra you carried over. It is suicidal to hide or reserve anything from your husband, if you do that you are simply telling him that you are not satisfied with him.
Once you are married you are complete, and you need to give it to him whenever, however and wherever he needs it. he’s supposed to be your last bus stop, and you must see and address him as your best friend, father, brother and lord; in so doing you will have a blissful marriage.
Point B is the exact opposite of A. No moderation or reservation, give it all to him and you will get more than a 100% in return.
May God bless your relationship.